


Heavy is the Head (4x03 deleted scenes)

by DC_bookfanatic



Series: Chicago Med Season 4 Fix-it’s/ deleted scenes [4]
Category: Chicago Med
Genre: F/M, Fix-it/deleted scene, Season 4 Episode 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-07 23:30:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20984207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DC_bookfanatic/pseuds/DC_bookfanatic
Summary: Deleted Scenes/Missing Scenes from episode 3, season 4! Chap. 1: Ava is informed that Connor opened the unfinished hybrid OR. Missing scene that takes place right before Ava shoves her way into said OR, furious at Connor.





	1. Anger

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this one was actually really fun to write...Not that all of them aren't but this one was particularly thrilling as I got to tap into Ava's more furious/frustrated side. A side that she seemed to show like every single episode before the writers RUINED her because Connor had done something stupid and risky. I feel like this cycle is like the bread and butter of their relationship :) Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, you may notice that I've taken some liberties such as the time of day these things happen...I imagine that these things could happen all hours of the day seeing as how I'm sure both Ava and Connor surely work 24-hour shifts. So, please just ignore any discrepancies!
> 
> Lastly, this works' title is 'Anger' by Sleeping at Last (check this guy out-he's AMAZING). This song could be used to describe a whole host of chapters because rhekker wouldn't be rhekker if they didn't get mad at each other so this title may be used more that once ;) And there's a few lines in there that I feel describe the epitome of Ava and Connor when they get angry so this song kind of sums up the whole episode. However, I was trying to think of a song that could be used to describe just Ava's frustration but no songs came to mind...
> 
> Don't hesitate to comment! As you know, I love them!!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.

_"Like wildfire, _

_It starts in my chest,_

_The silence grows louder,_

_Ringing out in my head..._

_Reckless but honest words leave my mouth..._

_ -Anger by Sleeping At Last_

* * *

“And that should do it,” Ava surveyed her work before glancing up at the CT Fellow across from her, “Dr. Bardovi, will you close? I want wires.”

The other doctor nodded, “Of course, Dr. Bekker.”

Ava looked down at the opened chest one last time before backing away from the table, stripping off her bloodied gloves and surgical gown and shoving them into the bio waste bin on her way out of the OR. Smiling in contentment, she gently turned on the water and took the bar of soap to scrub out. The surgery had gone well, just as she had predicted, but it was always a relief when she finished without a hiccup.

After drying her hands, she made her way to the surgical waiting room. Her patient’s family was in the same spot as they were the last time she had updated them. This was a sight she had seen many times, spouses with their head in their hands, parents clinging to one another in anticipation, hoping and praying.

Many times she had walked into that waiting room with a heavy heart and sick feeling in her gut because the news she had to bring wasn’t good at all but the days like today, when she was barely containing her pleased smile and that proud feeling of success, were the ones she lived for and desperately hoped for.

The family stood, their faces full of anticipation, greeting her with millions of questions on their tongues.

Ava held out her hand to forestall the inevitable chatter among the anxious group, allowing a small smile of comfort to grace her lips, “You can all relax. Marcus pulled through just fine and should make a full recovery. You’ll be able to see him in about an hour. A nurse will come to get you and I’ll be by later to check on him.”

Marcus’s dad blew out a shaky breath, holding out a hand to shake Ava’s, “Thank you so much, Dr. Bekker.”

Her smile grew slightly larger, “Of course. It’s my job.”

She took her leave, running through the things she still needed to do before she could go and try to get a quick nap in because unfortunately, she had a twenty-four-hour shift.

As grateful as she was that she’d completed Marcus’s surgery without any complications (at least, as of yet—she knew better than to assume everything was fine until forty-two hours post-op with no complications; _Max._ She’d seen things go sideways in a blink) she was slightly weary and thought it best to get some sleep whilst possible.

_…Before_ someone was frantically paging her, and she was up the rest of the night treating god knows what. She’d never had a completely quiet night shift before, and she didn’t think that would start now, especially on a Friday at the busiest hospital in Chicago.

Scratching her eyebrow briefly, Ava logged into the computer to check a few things before she changed into regular scrubs and started rounds. She barely finished opening the files she wanted when she caught sight of a young-looking nurse standing before her biting her lip in what appeared to be nerves.

Ava didn’t know her very well because the young nurse had just started a few weeks ago fresh out of nursing school but as far as she could tell, the girl was sweet and a hard worker even if she still needed some help to do her job properly.

She looked up to meet the nurses’ anxious gaze and quirked a curious brow, “Can I help you Molly?”

Molly wrung her hands, seemingly unsure of what she was about to say because she opened her mouth a few times but never spoke.

It had always annoyed her when people couldn’t express their thoughts in a timely manner because no one had time for that (and, unfortunately, she had run into quite a lot of that in her line of work, being in a position of authority, especially with her reputation of being cold-hearted (which was changing but it still seemed like she intimidated people)) but she curbed her annoyance as to not snap at Molly and further the (untrue) belief that she was unfeeling.

Instead she sighed calmly, albeit a little exasperated, and smiled kindly, “It’s alright. I don’t know what the other nurses said but I’m not going to bite.”

The girl blushed, “I’m sorry Dr. Bekker but it’s—Well, I’m not sure if I should be saying this or if it’s my place or…” Molly trailed off, biting her lip again.

Ava restrained from rolling her eyes. Was she that hard to talk to? The other nurses didn’t seem to have much of a problem although they were much more experienced in dealing with attending surgeons.

Molly was fresh out of school, so Ava did suppose her position intimidated her, but still. Just spit it out already.

Besides, Molly had spiked her interest in the few words she’d managed to stutter. And some slight concern. What had she meant by ‘not her place’?

“I don’t have all day,” Ava reasoned, not unkindly, hoping that it would prompt Molly to deliver what she wanted to deliver.

The nurse blushed even deeper but managed to not stutter, “I heard the other nurses talking and well—it seemed pretty reckless and serious so I thought maybe you could help out. I mean you’re super close to Dr. Rhodes, or at least you seem to be, and I was just worried.”

Molly looked like she was in distress, “Oh! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have done this…I’m sorry for bothering you.”

By this point, Ava was really curious and more than a little concerned. ‘Reckless’ and ‘Dr. Rhodes’ was a frequent combination which usually ended up being slightly disastrous before it got better…if it got better at all.

And she usually tried to talk him out of whatever crazy plan he had or at least tried to worm her way into the OR so she could at least do _some_ crowd control.

“What has he done?” A pit of dread was forming in her stomach. They had barely moved on from his last reckless stunt with Stella Kidd.

There should be a rule made. Only one crazy close call allowed every two months.

Not two in almost the same week.

“He, Dr. Rhodes-,” Molly started, “He opened the hybrid OR for an emergency heart procedure because the Cath lab was full and now word’s gotten around that the situation has escalated and he’s doing a thoracotomy.”

Ava blinked before deadpanning, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

She couldn’t believe it! Connor had just told her that room wasn’t ready and now he was performing a complex surgery without the equipment he needed to make it as safe as possible?

Open heart surgery was difficult and dangerous even with a fully equipped OR and a well thought out plan.

But he was doing it anyways with no plan (or not much of one anyways), a team who was unfamiliar with the room and the equipment that _was_ there, and if she wasn’t mistaken, there was no perfusion.

Or a bypass machine…

Ava looked at Molly, “He opened his chest?” She cried.

The girl looked uncomfortable but nodded dutifully, “Yes ma’am. It probably wasn’t my place to tell you but I thought maybe you could help because it seemed like a serious situation and I’ve noticed you and Dr. Rhodes are close and I thought that maybe you could maybe help out so that poor patient doesn’t die and I know I’m just a nurse but I was worried and it seemed fitting to come get you. Th other nurses were debating on paging you anyways, so I just came and-”

“It’s alright Molly,” Ava quickly interjected to stop her rambling.

In another circumstance, she probably would have berated her for essentially going over a doctor and senior nurses to tell her about a situation, but she could appreciate the girl’s concern this time. And she was grateful she had enough courage to come speak with her.

Smiling at Molly, Ava put a reassuring hand on her arm, “It’s good you came to get me but maybe next time, check in with a higher nurse, okay? And don’t worry about Dr. Rhode’s patient, I’ll deal with it.”

As much as she was glad Molly had told her about this, she couldn’t have the nurse (or the other younger RN’s for that matter) coming to tell her about every little thing that happened if it wasn’t pressing. She didn’t have time for that.

Molly blushed but bobbed her head in understanding before scurrying away.

Ava huffed in irritation, her mind turning to Connor, as she turned on her heel and walked as fast as she could towards the ED. She didn’t even take time to change her clothes but if Connor really had opened this poor person’s chest, it was good that she was ready for surgery.

Sometimes, she just couldn’t understand him. He wanted to help everyone but at the same time, his ego clouded his judgment and he ends up taking huge risks that don’t always pay off. And sometimes, she wondered if he was doing it to just show off and make a point.

Or maybe he _wanted_ to make her angry and aggravated.

If he did, he was succeeding fabulously.

Honestly, what was he thinking? Opening an OR when he _knew _it wasn’t ready, when he had just _hours _ago told her it wasn’t ready. What was he hoping to achieve?

Had the situation been so dire that he couldn’t move the patient upstairs?

She could understand maybe doing a Cath lab procedure if it was urgent enough because Molly had said that the labs were full but opening the patient’s chest in a half-finished room, without a bypass or perfusion?

Of course, she knew that’s why they were building the hybrid OR; For emergency situations such as this, but was it so urgent he decided his patient couldn’t survive a one to two minute up to a fully functioning OR (which were available, by the way—It wasn’t like they were booked too) and instead took the risk of _opening the patient’s chest _in an _unfinished _room?

She couldn’t justify the odds.

Ava took the stairs two at a time, running the situation through her head, getting angrier and angrier at Connor’s recklessness. Thinking of all the possible outcomes of this little stunt such as it ending in death for the patient…and maybe for Connor--by her own hands as she strangled him out of frustration.

But more than aggravation, she was starting to get worried as she envisioned what _would _happen if the worst occurred and the patient did die.

It could be catastrophic for Connor.

He’d most certainly have to face the hospital board for opening an OR that was clearly not operable and if he couldn’t make a strong enough case, he’d have to face an Ethics board and then maybe a peer review. Then he’d have to face the Illinois Medical Board. And then… He could lose his license.

Even if he went though all that and didn’t, it would be a bad mark on his CV and his reputation would be radically changed.

It would change everything for him, and she knew, beneath the ego that reared its head at times, Connor would be devastated. Mad at himself for letting his arrogance get the best of him and heartbroken that it caused someone’s death.

He was more sensitive than people realized. But she knew. Had observed him. Had wanted to discover more about him out of an innate curiosity. Which had then turned into a genuine concern for his well-being.

Ava got to the wing that led to the ED from the main hospital, her steps faltering as she realized she was worrying more about what might happen to Connor, not really that livid he put his patient in that situation in the first place (but don’t get her wrong, she was still plenty mad).

In the past when he’d done reckless stunts like this, when she first started working with him, she was smug about the fact that he might end up being kicked out of the hospital. Then, as she began to reevaluate how closed off she was with her emotions, she began to allow herself to feel for the patient Connor had put into the situation.

But recently, she started to think more of _Connor _and the implications for him and how it might affect _him_ if something terrible happened.

And there it was again, that little voice and the dawning realization that to her, Connor was becoming more than just a friend.

Before she could let herself have mini freak out that her heart was opening itself up more or less against her will, Ava jogged the last few feet into the buzzing Emergency Department.

Her eyes settled on the hybrid OR. Well, he’d definitely opened it.

Oh! Why did he put her into these situations in the first place?

Because she _was_ angry with him, not just worried. Because she had helped him get that OR; she stuck her neck out for him, risked her reputation, and now he might screw it up before it even officially opened?

And just like that, all her worries and annoyance fueled her slight anger into fury.

Forcibly, Ava pushed open the swinging door.

Just wait until he got a piece of her mind.


	2. Sorry For the Stupid Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor's thoughts after Ava delivers that beautiful rude awakening he needed about his arrogance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is really short but there are longer chapters coming in the next couple of episodes, I promise! I just wanted to dig a little deeper into Connor's thoughts after Ava was brutally honest with him (that was one of my favorite Ava scenes in the whole series). He looked really conflicted after she'd stormed away so this is what I imagined he was realizing in that moment. Hopefully you like it!
> 
> This chapter's title comes from Babyface's 'Sorry For the Stupid Things'. This songs is supposed to be sung from a guy's perspective to the girl he loves because he did something dumb in their relationship. Well, I feel like Connor did something dumb (like a guy) and now Ava is tired of putting up with him so I think this song fits this scene (the episode as a whole really) minus the love part because they aren't quite there yet (but it will happen eventually). Give the lyrics a read and tell me what you think! 
> 
> There are no added/deleted scenes for episode four because I couldn't really think of any and I thought that episode was really nice just the way it was (this episode also holds some of my favorite rhekker scenes--namely the first scene ;) however, I'm not opposed to writing about it if any of you guys have ideas; What you wished you had seen or something that could've been expounded on. Just let me know!
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.

He watched her walk away, her words still ringing in his ears.

_“…In service of your arrogance and your ego…”_ *

She’d been mad at him before. Lots of times, so her frosty, impassive glare wasn’t anything new but that disappointing glint.

That hadn’t been present until recently and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

On the one hand, he was warmed that she cared enough to _be _disappointed but on the other hand, it was gut-wrenching to know she was disappointed in _him_. That she had expected more from him and he’d let her down.

That was feeling he wasn’t used to and one he’d like to never have again.

…His arrogance and his ego.

That’s what she’d told him. He’d gotten in trouble because of those two things before but he usually had the ability to brush them off.

Not with Ava though. She actually made him stop and think about his behavior. Made him want to make a change, to be better, but not only because he wanted to please her but because she genuinely made him want to be a better person.

For his patients, his friends, himself…and her.

Connor felt like bashing his head on the nearest wall. What had he been thinking?

He never should have thrown her out and he never should have opened that stupid OR in the first place.

Ava was right. That had been incredibly stupid. And he’d kicked her out when he probably needed her the most.

What if it hadn’t gone as well as it had? He’d have someone’s death on his conscious _and_ he’d be facing an ethics board on why he’d decided to open a clearly not ready operating room.

Ava had been looking out for him and all he’d done was rudely kick her out and act like an inconsiderate idiot towards her.

She was becoming his conscience and that was something he’d never experienced before.

He scoffed humorlessly.

Ava Bekker, a cold-hearted thorn in his side when he first met her was becoming his conscience. How ironic.

And he was afraid to admit it, but she was becoming much more than that.

Had become much more than that.

And he’d treated her so thoughtlessly, even with his ‘apology’. Had he seriously offered to buy her a drink after he told her he was sorry for throwing her out?

She’d made it clear that wasn’t what she angry about and she was right. She usually was, he was finding out.

Connor checked his watch; she was probably heading out the door by now. He’d have to make it right tomorrow.

He lowered his hand before cursing to himself when he remembered she wouldn’t be at work tomorrow or the next day. There was a conference going on at the University of Chicago and she was slated to be there to represent the hospital and to speak at some of the events that were going on.

He‘d be going too if it wasn’t for his hybrid OR but he had lots of paperwork and protocols to run before it opened, which reminded him once again of how idiotic it was to open the room before that could happen.

He could text or run by her place, if he knew where she lived that is, but his stupid ego wouldn’t let him.

Sighing, Connor headed towards the ED. Well, the least he could do was to apologize to Maggie. She hadn’t deserved his snapping when she was also trying to keep him from doing something stupid.

Guilt settled in his stomach. His arrogance had probably caused more damage to others than he’d realized.

Ava being one of those people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry it's short but longer things are coming your way soon! Thank you as always for your love and support--it means the world! Leave a review and tell me what you thought ;)
> 
> P.S. Aren't you proud of me updating when I said I was gonna update :) ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Realistic? Make sense? I hope you enjoyed my interpretation of how Ava found out Connor was opening the hybrid room! Please leave a review!


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